I live in a rented house with my family and I started this weird addiction of eating walls, every chance I get to be alone in the room (I share with my

3 years

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I live in a rented house with my family and I started this weird addiction of eating walls, every chance I get to be alone in the room (I share with my younger sister) I’d scrape it and eat the dry wall. I couldn’t stop my addiction and now there are more than 2 huge probably longer than 15 cm holes on my side of the room that I cover with cardboard and properly hide with furniture, I feel so guilty,I haven’t told anyone about this and I can’t imagine what my parents reaction will be when they see, also the owner of the house wants his house back and we haven’t been able to find another house so we are still living here more than we’re meant to and the guy filed a complain and my parents have to go to the court for it after tomorrow AND JUST IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF HE JUST ARRESTS MY PARENTS FOR THIS OR JUST IDK BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY AND I AM ASHAMED AND SO MUCH REGRETTING MY CHOICE

New Confession

I hate you and resent you, you never listen and only hear what you wanna hear. You like me but its only conditional and when its convenient for you. You treat me like trash just like everyone else has and walking on eggshells. Any little mistake I make, your awful to me, you’re easily possessive , controlling and get easily jealous if i so much smile at someone yet its okay for you to have friends. You don’t want me to talk to anyone else yet you push me when I want to have a conversation with you. You only halfway listen, and you wonder why I completely shut down and dead inside. I rather live and die alone than feel more alone & isolated around everyone who’ve treated me like a freak. You get mad that I don’t want to be near you yet you’ve mocked me when I was really upset and hurt. I feel trapped and stuck. Im waiting to die, I hate this non-ending cycle pathetic excuse of this life im living. I can’t even escape in my own thoughts, if a god or any other being exists and is listening, please take me away already , why do you let me live ?

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