I’ve been getting all the help I need and I have the best support group you could have, but for some reason I can just never feel completely happy with myself and the things I do in my life. And it doesn’t help that I’m someone who doesn’t want to bother people with my feelings too much or burden people. I just really want to kill myself someday but can never do it cause I fear pain not matter how long term or shot it is. And I can’t help but remember when my dad says that committing suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do and that the last thing I want to do. But every now and then I wanna overdose on my anti depressants or just stab myself with a kitchen knife or jump off of a multi story building. And then it just suddenly goes away or suddenly gets ten times worse. I don’t know what to do with myself really. I know I want to continue living, but my mind really puts that choice to the test when it puts me through this mental torture.