Over a year ago I talked in a really fucked up way to a minor. Granted, I was a minor too, and we were around the same 15-16 age range, but the way I talked and how explicit the conversation was that I caused was, in retrospect, very predatory. I turned it into a very s***** and fucked up situation, and while I wasn’t really aware of it at the time, it was the type of s*** groomers send. Basically, I sent extremely fucked s***. Eventually, like 2 days later she told me she wasn’t comfortable with the conversation, didn’t know how to tell me that, and I sent an apology, in which I was legit sorry because I thought she was cool with it, as I legitimately thought she was. She blocked me, understandably, but then the friend group I met her in caught wind and threw me out too, also understandably. I reached out to the main guy and he was willing to listen to me before we stopped talking, in which I apologized more and tried to make sense as to why I did it- mainly factors of loneliness, desperation, a lack of self control and selfishness, all pathetic s***. I owned up to it 100%, and he was receptive to what I had to say. He said he didn’t think I did it out of ill will, but he also brought up the point that like while we are similar in age I still didn’t really get consent in the convo and what if she was much younger than me? We said goodbye and went our separate ways after that and I thought a LOT about it. I had done it before- my first time with one girl who I had somewhat manipulated a year prior. I thought it was just like how like online sexting and s*** worked, and I didn’t realize till later how fucked up it was. I sent her an apology and she said she appreciated it and that no damage had been done, but the fact that I realized I was capable of doing stuff like that in these two occasions f***** scares me. I had the makings of a child predator or r***** or s*** like that, down to the manipulative self centered nature and s*** like that. F****** scared me. I pledged myself that I would never do that s*** again. Since then I have barely even messaged women online anymore, I try to work on my self control, I’ve been trying to do everything I can to never do that s*** again. Now I’m 17, I’m way less lonely, I have a GF, etc. and a lot of the things in my environment that incentivized me to do that stuff is gone.