i am so stupid my boyfriend has covid and asked to hang out so i went over to his house for hours and now i definitely have it i dont regret it because i

4 years

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i am so stupid my boyfriend has covid and asked to hang out so i went over to his house for hours and now i definitely have it i dont regret it because i rarely get to see him but damn do i feel stupid because if someone gets sick? if someone gets sick and DIES BECAUSE OF ME oh god oh god oh god

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I’m plagued with thoughts of r*** and homocide and I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t think I can. It feels me with immense guilt, especially when the person that I’m looking at, thinking of, doesn’t even know what kind of sick and terrible things I want to do to them. It’s sick. And unfortunately those thoughts have been worsening lately. They’ve gotten so extreme that I’m afraid I’m going to give in to them soon.