my friend tried to kiss me yesterday. despite having a partner, it took me some time to push him away. now i lay in my bed, smelling like his cologne,

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my friend tried to kiss me yesterday. despite having a partner, it took me some time to push him away. now i lay in my bed, smelling like his cologne, thinking of what might’ve been. i’m the worst

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I’m plagued with thoughts of r*** and homocide and I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t think I can. It feels me with immense guilt, especially when the person that I’m looking at, thinking of, doesn’t even know what kind of sick and terrible things I want to do to them. It’s sick. And unfortunately those thoughts have been worsening lately. They’ve gotten so extreme that I’m afraid I’m going to give in to them soon.