I've been so desperate to be closer to my crush I considered being a one night stand/friend with benefits just to sleep with her. I would usually never

4 years

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I’ve been so desperate to be closer to my crush I considered being a one night stand/friend with benefits just to sleep with her. I would usually never want to f*** unless I was in a committed relationship yet I almost wanted to try and f*** her before dating. I feel like a terrible person. She would want to but not want to be in a relationship. Why did I become so immoral

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I’m plagued with thoughts of r*** and homocide and I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t think I can. It feels me with immense guilt, especially when the person that I’m looking at, thinking of, doesn’t even know what kind of sick and terrible things I want to do to them. It’s sick. And unfortunately those thoughts have been worsening lately. They’ve gotten so extreme that I’m afraid I’m going to give in to them soon.