I have been raped before – It’s the only basis I have had for s**. I have always thought it was normal for it to hurt, but other people have always said it feels good. My person talk about how good it feels, and how nice it feels to make love to me.
It makes me want to die- I feel like I will go to hell if I tell them it hurts and that I feel like I’m going to vomit when they ask to have s**. But I can’t say no. I am afraid of what will happen if I do. I’m afraid to be alone – and I’m afraid of what they’ll think of me. It’s my fault. I deserve to hurt.