I started cheating on my bf 2 months into our relationship, I’ve had s** with my ex and I’ve been flirting with old coworkers.
Me and my bf are long distance and I’m 17 while hes 20, I don’t get what I need from him and I’ve expressed it multiple times with empty promises of changing. I broke up with him once but it was a huge chest pain that left me depressed because I’ve shown parts of myself to him that I rarely share, in two more days it’ll be our 5 months together.
I want to be honest with him but I’m going to be selfish and hide it from him, what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him right? I’m going to stop and cut everyone else off and work harder on our relationship because he doesn’t really deserve what I’ve done but I can’t let him go.
I want to blame this all on my past of getting s******* assaulted and almost raped but I know that isn’t an excuse, but he rarely makes me feel like he’s in love with me like I was with him.
I know the age difference isn’t a huge deal but it is isn’t it? Hes in college and working while I’m in my junior year stressing about going to college and working part time to help my family, maybe I’m too stressed but I KNOW I’m 100% a b**** for doing that to him.