I’m a 33 year old bisexual man who fell in love with a 22 year old gay man who’s been asking to be my boyfriend for 3 years. I went against my nature and

4 years

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I’m a 33 year old bisexual man who fell in love with a 22 year old gay man who’s been asking to be my boyfriend for 3 years. I went against my nature and choose to listen to my parents. We met up last year and had non penetrative s** twice, I refused to sleep with him because I’m still a virgin. The worst part is that he had a boyfriend at the time and this broke them up. He was very sad and became w reckless. We recently reconnected and are planning a life together when he got really sick, we found out three weeks ago he has HIV. All of my family and friends want me to leave him but I’m so in love and I’m so sad. If I had became is boyfriend when he asked me when he was single none of this would’ve happened. He was 19, I was 29 and I didn’t want to feel like I was taking advantage of a young person. I’ve recently got on prep but I’m so scared the first time that I actually have s** I could get HIV, this is the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life and the worst part is that I feel him pulling away from me. It’ll de estate me if I wind up positive and he decides to leave me after all, for making him wait.

New Confession

My husband always watches p*** and said he fantasized about me being with a b******** man. On vacation in a bar , I noticed a muscular young black guy watching me. I’m 28, 120 lbs with perky breasts. I started thinking about the fantasy and was getting a bit aroused. My husband was really drunk and I knew he was ready to call it a night. I told the black guy our room number in the hotel, he said he was on the same floor. I asked him to meet me in the hallway. As soon as we entered the room my husband hit the bed, I knew he was out for the night. I removed my p****** and bra and put on a short skirt, I was really going to do this. He was waiting for me in front of his room and pulled me inside rather quickly. He wasted no time kissing me and pulling off his pants revealing his huge manhood. He layed me on the bed and forced his large p**** into my mouth. I was scared because this was happening too fast. He forced it down my throat and I began to gag. After a few minutes, he pulled up my dress around my stomach and saw my tight little p****. He spread my legs and forced his big d*** into my wet hole . It hurt ,but he buried it deep inside me. I begged him to stop but he kept thrusting me. Soon I started getting used to the size and it started feeling very good. I begged him to f*** me good as I grabbed his balls. He was making me c** so hard. He had his way with me for about an hour and I had never had that many orgasms. He finished in my mouth and I eagerly swallowed every drop. I went back to the room, barely able to walk. My husband was still passed out. I get so h**** now when he fantasizes about a black man using me. He has no idea

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I hate myself so much for my attachment issues. I always hurt the people I care about because I get attached easily and start caring too much. When someone I am so attached to stops messaging back, paying attention to me, and caring, I do crazy things to check if they are online and just ignoring me. I don’t stop until I discover who they are giving all their attention to, and then I’ll start stalking the person they talk to more often than me. It’s way worse when it’s out of the blue, which makes me more inclined to find every piece of information about that person. I know I am in the wrong for doing this, and after the person eventually finds out about this, I panic and pressure them to forgive me and stay. I don’t justify my actions, I do believe I’m weird, creepy, and evil, but I care too much to let the person go. It works a lot, and I feel like a manipulator. I want to stop seeking strong friendships and relationships because I know that in the end, both of us will end up hurt. The harsh reality is that I also go crazy when I don’t have anybody to obsess over. I can never win.