I have a huge crush on my professor (Professor is a lady) of graduation university. She is my mentor too and she has helped me a lot in my toughest days when I was in a emotional mess. I am deeply grateful for her. But sometimes I fantasize about having s** with her. I have a crush on her but I also love her as if she is also my mom. She looks so beautiful and her resolve, intellect and loving yet strong clear mind makes her so attractive. I feel guilty for sometime involuntarily dreaming about my mentor in a s***** way. I imagine having s** with her, which is quite inappropriate. However, I am in my sleep and I dream subconsciously. After I wake up, I catch my ears and do sit-ups as a self-punishment to wash off the guilt. But then I get dreams again of having s** with her. I love her as my mom, girlfriend and teacher at the same time.