this might be a little long and english is not my first language
i love my best friend very much, we’ve been friends for over six years now. but sometimes, i feel tired of dealing with her bpd. now, i know that people with bpd are the ones who are really suffering and that we should offer support to them, and i do that, but sometimes is just too much.
i’m basically her emotional support person, and that feels so suffocating to me sometimes. she’s constantly jealous of me having other friends, one time she came to confront me because i posted a screenshot of some messages of me talking about my first day in college with other friends, i was joking that because i didnt really understood how it worked i would drop out. she started saying that i should tell her about it too, and that she wanted to know but i was literally going to.
it feels like shes always monitoring my tweet posts, two days ago i posted that no one commented on my instagram pic, therefore i have no friends. i thought it was pretty obvious that it was a joke, for the way the tweet was written and the pics i used as a meme. she came to me and started arguing with me about it, about me saying that i had no friends, but i didnt mean to offend her, it was a joke. until today she’s still tweeting about it, and its exhausting.
now this one is more of a personal thing. i’m someone who doesnt really like open up about how i’m feeling (because of trauma) and, althought i know that it’s something i should fix, forcing me to open up won’t do me no good. i liked to talk about in my twitter, though. but nowdays, i cant even post that im sad, she starts confronting me on why i’m not opening up to her and if i dont trust her, even after i explained a million times that this is just how i work. she literally doesnt even let me breathe.
and she always has a way of bringing the mood down in a conversation, i can be talking about anything, she will find a way to make it about sad things. somedays i even pretend im busy so we dont really have to talk.
i love her to death, and i really want her to find happiness and get better. but it’s been draining dealing with her.