When I was little my mom and dad were abusive and I always hated my dad because he would never spend time with me or anything and if I asked to spend time he would just tell me he was busy or give me money and he would also hit me a lot and stuff if I didn’t do my chores, I have a lot of ptsd from it and should probably go to therapy,well anyway me and my dad have a good relationship now and I actually prefer him over my mom, and i live with him, I think after my mom left him he started getting better(i think they brought out the worst in each other) now he’s more understanding and caring, but sometimes I forget that and when I do something bad I get afraid of telling him cause I fear that he will hurt me but I just can’t shake that fear sometimes and the guilt eats away at me, I don’t wanna think that he will hurt me because he won’t but I also can’t stop replaying the times he did in my head, over and over and over
