I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now. He has cheated on me twice, and there has been countless other girls telling me about what he said to

4 years

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I have been dating my boyfriend for three years now. He has cheated on me twice, and there has been countless other girls telling me about what he said to them and they have all sent me countless screenshots of texts he has sent. Recently I have been questioning my feelings with him. I know I deserve more but I can’t seem to let him go, even though countless people tell me to ditch him. He was my Highschool sweetheart and seems to always promise the world. Yet, I can never get over the first time he cheated on me. It eats me up everyday, and it drives me crazy. Yet, I still can’t get rid of him. I fear that if I get rid of him and move on with my life, I will always miss him. So, in order to still cope years later I listen to “Back to December” by Taylor Swift. (He cheated on me December 1-2). That song makes me want to cry my heart out and get sick from crying. That song will never be the same for me, 2 years from now, or 90 years from now. I just want the regret and feelings to go away. I love him, I really really do. But I am never going to get over this. It just seems that girls either hate him horrifical, or want to climb him. And I hate how girls are attracted to him. Yet, I let him go out and talk to these girls in fear he will leave me for being “toxic”. I don’t know what to do or think anymore. I love him but everything he dose eats me up inside. I guess once a player, always a player. I guess some of this come from jealousy, that he can go out and drink and have fun with friends, yet I’m not a people-person and rather stay in. I love to hate him, and hate to love him. I don’t want him to ever leave, yet I think if he walked out of my life, I think I would let him. But also, he never seems to want to leave. I have done multiple things to try to shake him off (went out with guy friends (hell I almost kissed one), ghosted him, insult him, etc. Yet, he never seems to leave. (Yes I know that was wrong to do to him and I am equally as toxic now.) I don’t know what to do. I just wan to figure this all out before its too late and im married with 2 kids and a mortgage with him. It seems like we are soulmates, twin flames, whatever, but just at the wrong time. Maybe in another life time or planet. I trust him with my life, but I don’t trust him with my heart. He tells me all the time that he loves me more than I love him, and I think he is right. But I can’t tell him that. I want the best for him, and I want that to be me, but I also don’t want it to be me. I love you.

New Confession

I have to admit it. I love flashing my c*** to women. I don’t even care how old they are, as long as they watch. I do it in my car, on webcams and even out hotel windows on the beach in Florida. My c*** is slightly larger than normal but can’t be described as huge. At least 2 women did comment on how hard my c*** is. So far, no women have participated but they haven’t reported me either.
I was holidaying in Florida and lying a lounge near the pool and the ocean where I could see lots of women in bathing suits. Across the deck from me, lying on a lounge was a black haired lady with b*******. She was wearing a tiny bikini and sunglasses. I positioned myself so that, if she looked up, she could see my hard c*** sticking out from under my shorts. She didn’t indicate one way or another and because of the sunglasses, I couldn’t tell if she was looking. After about 15 minutes or so, another lady approached her. I don’t think they were together. The lady spoke to her, I couldn’t hear what she said and then she left. My lady sat up, pulled the glasses up over her eyes and looked straight at me. It seemed like forever, but was probably less than a minute. She pulled the glasses down and lay back on the lounge without ever having acknowledged anything. I knew she had to have seen my c***. The only thing she did was bend her knee so I no longer had a view of her p**** area but she did nothing to hide her t***. I didn’t trust the other lady, so I got up and left. Still think about that.
One night I was cruising in my car with my d*** out looking for a flash opportunity, around 8 pm and it was dark. Up ahead was a female hitchhiking. She was wearing a real loose dress and she was perfect. My plan was to offer her a ride with my c*** out. If she got in, great, if not and she closed the door, cool. As she opened the door, before she got in, the interior light came on for an instant and she got a great look.
Unfortunately before she could do anything, I was so excited that my c** just exploded all over the place, and I reached over, closed the door and drove away leaving her on the side of the road.
I wonder what would have happened is she had gotten in.

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