I’m nearly 30 now. I know lots about consent, choice, and abuse. I would never take advantage of someone s*******, my libido is not that high anymore and I have lots of self control. But I learned these things too late. Lately I’m haunted by a memory that came back to me recently of when I was 16. I’m afraid I may technically be a r*****. I’m not abusive now. I wasn’t violent back then. But I really applied pressure to my girlfriend for s** one night when I was young. One time only, to my memory, but it felt wrong afterwords. I forgot about it for many years, until last month when listening to a podcast about s***** assault, and how it goes unreported, and how people involved deny it (both people sometimes). I feel disgusting every day because of it. I feel fake, and not deserving of love. I can’t confess anywhere else, this will not be enough. Be kind to others