Whenever Everything in my life is going too good I feel fear. Because it was the the moment something really bad would happen and it actually happened.
It was when i was 9y/o i was standing after taking a shower. I felt that what the hell? Whats going on? Where am i? Why isnt anything happening? Its because when i was little my parents would always hurt me and o think they tried to abort me. I still get signs from my dad that he is not satisfied with me.
At that time i dressed up and i went inside and i turned on the TV. I was watching HBO. Hopefully nothing happened that day. But after that day i got punished for losing a nail cutter.

Now, I am 15y/o I have overcome my fear of adults and my parents. I dont listen to them. And i dont feel that something bad is going to happen ’cause the worst thing happened is my birth. I wanna end it but i am afraid of hell. I mock my teachers but they dont know. I hate my best friend he doesnt know. I think one of friend who is a girl has confessed something on this web cause i know her soo well and all the things matches accordingly. I feel really bad for all these things i keep away from them. If i let it all out chaos will happen.