I'm still in relation with my gf, but I want to be my ex's sex slave 5 years after our separation. I've not seen my gf for a year cuz of the end of school

4 years

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I’m still in relation with my gf, but I want to be my ex’s s** slave 5 years after our separation. I’ve not seen my gf for a year cuz of the end of school and Covid, and during this time I had a load of conversations with my ex, had myself allured again, found that I’m a submissive one who’s more enjoyed being dominated and played around in the bedroom instead of having vanilla s**. BTW my ex is 200% a dom and my gf’s not even into the normal type of s**.

Within a month both me and gf are moving to Australia for our master’s degrees, but she told me about half a year ago that she won’t live with me when we get there, or even worse, may not even go with me, but the relationship will remain. That’s why I added my ex back, and I’m now dominated by this idea, that I’ll have a hidden relationship with my ex in Australia, and go to her city once a week to get my a** racked voluntarily 🙁

I’ve got a remote a** plug as my ex wanted me to, I never tried that before, so I tried it out, then get drowned in that pleasure. Yet, I’ve not handed over the control to my ex cuz it’s not too late to say no and then step back to the normal world, as my gf’s not aware of this whole thing. I see no hopes in my current relationship, but I’m so bad at saying goodbye, that I’m waiting for my gf to bestow me the end if she wants it to end someday. What a typical sub am I. I sense that I might hand my ex over that control at any moment, and if I do so I’d mark myself a real sinner in the current relationship, but hardly could I resist this desire of being controlled by my ex.

I AM DOOMED
I AM DOOMED
I AM DOOMED
MAY NONE OF YOU WOULD GO ASTRAY & STEP ON MY PATH

New Confession

I was coerced into posing n*** and touching myself and inserting an adult toy for ten polaroid pictures by my one of my uncles when I was a just a preteen. I never told my parents.

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There’s this girl who works in the same company at the mall that I do who I’m pretty obsessed with (even though she’s married). I’m always checking her out. Lately, I haven’t seen her in a while, but in the past, I used to sniff the chairs she sat on, and one time she left her stuff at work. So I sniffed her jacket, licked the mouth area of her water bottle, I stole a tampon from her jacket because it has her scent, and I used the lotion she uses to rub on my d*** and balls. If I could’ve, I would’ve came on her jacket.