He loves me with everything but he’s not the same as he was. At all. He lies, snaps at me, ignores me, says horrible slurs, etc. I miss him. The him that I genuinely loved just a few months ago. He made me laugh and feel like I was perfect. He taught me how to love myself. But he’s a compulsive liar, and I realize now that this whole time I’ve been inlove with a liar. His true colours are showing more and more and he relies on me to deal with his problems. The cherry ontop is that I’m falling inlove with another guy. He’s in my science class. I get butterflies from my now crush, not boyfriend. So though I hate imagining us just walking past eachother in the hallways next year without saying a word, I need to end things with him. I can’t keep clinging onto the memories when it isn’t a reality anymore. He’s different. There’s days I don’t like him at all. Like as a person. I’ve come seconds away from just blurting it out but my friends were there and I didn’t want to be cruel and do it at school. This whole thing was a mistake. I regret becoming more than friends. I also want to talk to my friends all about my crush but for obivous reasons I can’t. I want to gush about how adorable his smile is and how sweet of a laugh he has. He has a deep voice so when I hear him laugh it’s like a giggle. It turns my heart inside out and butterflies just take over. But I can’t say a word. I’ll be called a s*** or something because I’m keeping my boyfriend in this relationship when I barely like him anymore. But the thought of him not being in my life anymore, after almost 3 years of being best friends, kills me inside. But I have to learn to move on. I’m terrified of the unknown and you feel like home. But I go to bed crying most nights because of you. You fixed me, then tore me down. Multiple times. I hate it here.