I have a boyfriend, and a best friend. My best friend has a boyfriend. I’ve known their boyfriend for more than 3/4 of my life, and i’ve liked him ever

4 years

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I have a boyfriend, and a best friend. My best friend has a boyfriend. I’ve known their boyfriend for more than 3/4 of my life, and i’ve liked him ever since. I’m not attractive, none of my in-person crushes ever liked me back. But I met someone online. He really loved me and I’ve never felt it before that way. (we’ve been together for a while now.)
But I realized that my friends boyfriend, who has been my best friend also for many years, is deeper in love than my own boyfriend.
He’s so obviously in love with his partner. It hurts ME to see them together. Originally I was convinced it was just me longing for more of my boyfriends attention, but another factor was that I still like my friend.
I fantasize about him sometimes. It’s only when I feel like my boyfriend isn’t loving me in the moment. These feelings happen because of an incident between us that gave me bad trust issues with him. They’ve gotten better, but everytime he expresses his love for something else I have to find comfort for myself. But that’s not the point. The point is, I feel horrible. My future plans included growing up and marrying a childhood best friend. And although my current boyfriend kind-of is a childhood best friend, he doesn’t fit in that category very well. And my best friend does.

I’m too lazy to make a second confession post, so here’s another confession about my boyfriend.
So, he’s bisexual. And I’m fine with that, of course, I mean so am I, but some things he used to do still have an effect on me.
He has a big attraction to men. And every time he finds a man attractive (or anyone attractive that isn’t me for that matter) it makes me upset. I know I’m being obsessive and clingy and annoying. But i love him. I love his attention and I can be that little attention seeking w**** that he won’t judge because that’s how we are. But I guess I’m too affectionate. I dunno.
Sorry. I kinda needed this stuff off my chest. I hope someone read through this and they think about it for a minute like i do with all these anonymous confession websites.
Thanks for reading, if you did. It helps.

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