4 years
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Gen,
I’m sorry for having a crush on you. Yeah, this isn’t super intense or crazy of a confession, but I still feel like I owe you an apology. Big time.
I didn’t know you when I first wrote you that poem. And this is a story that you’ve heard a few times, because you read those poems not knowing they were about you. And this is embarrassing, but I’m coming clean now. So.
I liked you. You didn’t like me back. I didn’t know you, and you were genuinely the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
But you’re three years older than me. And you have a girlfriend. I want to apologize to her, too, even though I’ve never met her I did think some nasty thoughts her way. She’s beautiful too.
I’m realizing how out of proportion I’ve blown this. The heart of the issue is I’m sorry about those poems. I feel like, in a way, they’re the reason that we’re friends now. And that’s pretty s***** of me. I knew you’d never like me back. But I had those dreams, and worse, thoughts. And I wrote them down poetically, and even entered them into contests. Two contests. Still hope I win though.
We’re kinda friends now, and genuinely I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re fun to be around, even if you are kind of a lot. I don’t like you in that way anymore, and my God is it so relieving when you smile at me and my heart doesn’t drop. I’m really gonna miss you in a couple of days when we switch classes. We have that group chat now (literally from today, thanks for adding me) and I hope we still talk. You’re really cool, Gen. Sorry for projecting my insatiable need for romance on someone who’ll never love me back.
Please don’t ask me who the girl in the yellow dress is.

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