Roughly 1 year ago I raped a girl its fucked up and I have trouble sleeping n often think about ending it all she was my gf and I was staying over at hers

5 years

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Roughly 1 year ago I raped a girl its fucked up and I have trouble sleeping n often think about ending it all she was my gf and I was staying over at hers I had alot to drink that night and I don’t remember it around 2 days later she told me what had happened n ever since it’s been playing on my mind I hate myself idk why or how I brung myself to do it but I did there nothing I can do about it now and I feel truly fuckih awful me and her were just talking about it n understandable she was very pissed off but there litterly nothing I can say or do to fix It and i don’t think I’m gonna be able to cope whith what I did mjch longer before I take my own life I’m scared and deep down I now know I’m the word kind of person there is

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Last year I had se.x with my friends girlfriend. They broke up not long ago, but not because of that. He still doesn’t know what we did. I’m not going to lie, the first time we did it I lasted about 30 seconds before I eja.culated inside her. She’s just so fu.c.king beautiful, it was like my di.ck wanted to fill her with sp.erm before she had a chance to change her mind. After the first time I was able to go two more rounds and last much longer. I even made her c.um a couple of times. She spent the night in my bed and we had s.ex again in the morning. Yes, I feel fu.cking guilty about it, but I didn’t think their relationship would last anyway (I was right) and we just have a natural chemistry. I hope she doesn’t tell him out of spite. Believe it or not, I really like my friend and I want to stick with him. Thank you for giving me a chance to get this off my chest.