I have had some rough relationships always picked the wrong ones for me and as silly as it is I’ve just found someone who fits I like everything about them.

Almost half a year into it and they still haven’t explicitly said how they feel about me yes I know by their actions but just once I wanna hear it said aloud because I got a little insecure about it.

One night whilst tipsy I aired my insecurity by saying I will never ever say I love you first despite being an open book with my emotions a challenge was set even tho we were both drinking but not drunk.

I’m over the insecurity now I know how they feel about me whether they say it or not and it sorta slipped my mind but the other day I entered a state of pilot mode and said “love you” just casually without thinking and as soon as I realised I prayed they didn’t hear me, then followed the “what did you just say?”

And like any normal person I went hot in the face announced I was going now and ran away. I’m beyond embarrassed that wasn’t how it was supposed to come out and to top it all off they called my name during my escape and when I looked back they cheekily flipped me off as of to say “I win” and yes it did make me feel way more comfortable about it all.

But I still can’t kick the feeling that it wasn’t supposed to come out like that I was gonna plan something a little special for them and properly tell them I loved them in a romantic setting.

But I think imma go MIA for a couple days instead ….