it's a guilt but also a pain i thought i would move on and sadly it's been 4 years 4 years of my life that i could have enjoyed dating other people i

5 years

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it’s a guilt but also a pain i thought i would move on and sadly it’s been 4 years 4 years of my life that i could have enjoyed dating other people i could have enjoyed life. but i was stuck on you and i still am its tiring it hurts it feels like a guilt but i can’t move on i dream of loving you and later on i dream of killing you and this isn’t any help. i’m scared to go out it got to the point where i saw you four sundays straight. i was scared and i am so scared to go out i’m paranoid i’ll see you. and you a are happy with her i wish that was me i wish that i was pretty like her. i wish i was her so that you can love me i am 16 and its sad how i never fell in love with other people other than you. you made me so happy. when i hugged it felt like i was okay, when i hugged you i felt everything go away and when i saw you smile with your cute dimples i couldnt help but smile and feel happy, but that all went away, and i can’t smile anymore i want it to be you. i truly want it to be you. but in the end you’ll always love her, and people tell me “just move on” and i wish it was as easy as said but at this point it’s impossible for me to even move on and i wish i could tell you that i love you one last time but it’s sad isn’t it?? i cant even look at you without thinking of the old memories and balling my eyes out, because of you i screamed my lungs out i have sat for 7 hours straight screaming and crying and it’s getting on my nerves. i want to move one i do but i can’t i simply cant get that even tho i love you with all my heart you love her and only her but i’ll tell it to you again that i love you i truly do and i always will i hope you make her happy. idk when i’ll ever have the guts to look at you but all you should know is that i love you.

New Confession

Today I wake up it’s day three since my capture. Been held in this basement for today the third day with no sign of when I’ll be released. My name is Jake I’m 20 years old. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I was nabbed from a store round. This person seems to have no soul or compassion. He brought me here and has held me for three days completely naked.
This place looks like it was set up to hold people for periods of time. He has a fetish with preteen children, he befriends them, grooms them and trains them to aid in his bidding. They show up randomly in couples or small groups and as many ae twelve at a time.
He is a control freak and forces me to say whatever he wants me to say. Apparently he’s recording what he is doing to hopefully maintain my silence of what he’s done. I may seem rational to you but it’s because I’m writing from past history. But then, at the moment, I was so f****** scared I would do absolutely anything to get out of there. I finally got out by convincing him that I agreed with everything he was doing. He literally forced me to j******* in front of those kids until I came and I was to yell out how I liked that he forced me to because I was scared of him. He was turned on by the way the kids laughed at me. And that he caused it. I heard a boy say to another something about how many they’ve seen be a coward like that before. My people I’m warning you be aware this can happen to anybody, this nut isn’t racist nor judge mental. Everyone or anyone is fair game I’ve heard of different people and different states. Don’t walk alone men between 20 – 50.

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I’m in a loving relationship with my partner, and everything is great. However, I often visit a coffee shop and have a huge crush on the barista there. We frequently chat and discuss our weekends. We connect well, and I can’t seem to get her out of my mind.