it’s a guilt but also a pain i thought i would move on and sadly it’s been 4 years 4 years of my life that i could have enjoyed dating other people i could have enjoyed life. but i was stuck on you and i still am its tiring it hurts it feels like a guilt but i can’t move on i dream of loving you and later on i dream of killing you and this isn’t any help. i’m scared to go out it got to the point where i saw you four sundays straight. i was scared and i am so scared to go out i’m paranoid i’ll see you. and you a are happy with her i wish that was me i wish that i was pretty like her. i wish i was her so that you can love me i am 16 and its sad how i never fell in love with other people other than you. you made me so happy. when i hugged it felt like i was okay, when i hugged you i felt everything go away and when i saw you smile with your cute dimples i couldnt help but smile and feel happy, but that all went away, and i can’t smile anymore i want it to be you. i truly want it to be you. but in the end you’ll always love her, and people tell me “just move on” and i wish it was as easy as said but at this point it’s impossible for me to even move on and i wish i could tell you that i love you one last time but it’s sad isn’t it?? i cant even look at you without thinking of the old memories and balling my eyes out, because of you i screamed my lungs out i have sat for 7 hours straight screaming and crying and it’s getting on my nerves. i want to move one i do but i can’t i simply cant get that even tho i love you with all my heart you love her and only her but i’ll tell it to you again that i love you i truly do and i always will i hope you make her happy. idk when i’ll ever have the guts to look at you but all you should know is that i love you.
