i’m married. but when my friend texts me, my heart races. i don’t want to be with my friend. but i want him to have feelings for me for some reason. i just want someone decent to value me. me and my husband have been through so much… sometimes i think it’s too much, and too late to recover from. i don’t want to be with my friend. but i find myself wishing he would fall in love with me. i guess i wish someone wanted me… even if i couldn’t be with them. i miss when someone likes you. and they’re kind. and when feelings grow. and just… the slow burn. my husband through gas on our fire. instead of turning into this huge fire that he wanted, it caused smoke fo fill both our lungs until we were both consumed by each other. but not from the good parts. from all of the toxic traits we both have and hinder each other from fixing by staying together. i try to grow as an individual every day. but i know these factors will continue to hinder me. this middle ground i’m on is driving me crazy.
