i’m married. but when my friend texts me, my heart races. i don’t want to be with my friend. but i want him to have feelings for me for some reason. i

5 years

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i’m married. but when my friend texts me, my heart races. i don’t want to be with my friend. but i want him to have feelings for me for some reason. i just want someone decent to value me. me and my husband have been through so much… sometimes i think it’s too much, and too late to recover from. i don’t want to be with my friend. but i find myself wishing he would fall in love with me. i guess i wish someone wanted me… even if i couldn’t be with them. i miss when someone likes you. and they’re kind. and when feelings grow. and just… the slow burn. my husband through gas on our fire. instead of turning into this huge fire that he wanted, it caused smoke fo fill both our lungs until we were both consumed by each other. but not from the good parts. from all of the toxic traits we both have and hinder each other from fixing by staying together. i try to grow as an individual every day. but i know these factors will continue to hinder me. this middle ground i’m on is driving me crazy.

New Confession

Want to hear about some demented people?
The Police and Guards of Oshawa and some others would and still do hit things and try to extort Ausint Eady into “Behaving” and doing what they wanted/want him to. Theydid so for years becuase he made some notes for women that said it was fine for him to (Whatever sense that makes along wiht the rest of their actions)

They know they diagnosis of schizoprhenia for beliving that police guards and neighbours + other randoms were/are doing things to bother him makes it not count really and is totally fake since there’s no paranoia in things actually happening.
He can sue the christ out fo them for what thye do but he chooses not to for some reason.

Ohyeah and their main method of botheirng now is some fake a** like throat clear / cough

Now what sounds more demented and schizophrenic and like they have an actual condition to you, me or the police, guards and randoms that shoudl be doing mroe with their lives isntead of trying to affect mine?

They’re the ones somehwo seeing things in nothing and seem to be hearing things.

It’s wonder any of these pieces of s*** have jobs

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