5 years
x
717 Views

I’m married, and had an affair with a married man. He was 20 years older than me. His wife caught him and I confessed to my husband. Afterwards, the affair ended.

I deeply regret what I did, because it’s not something I would normally do. I’ve been married over 20 years, but never had an affair. Throughout the affair, my ex partner constantly talked about his previous s** partners and ex girlfriends. It made me very uncomfortable. Especially, when I would catch him in a lie, but I’d act like I had not.

He was talking to other women the entire time he was in the affair with me. I would try to convince myself that he wasn’t that low of a person, but he was.

He eventually told me 2 weeks before the affair ended, that he’d cheated on his wife with her own daughter. That totally disgusted me. I lost everything I had ever felt for him immediately after he said that.

I really felt so sorry for his wife. I hate myself for what went on between me and her husband. It really hurt my husband terribly, and we’ve struggled with the damage I caused by having an affair.

His wife is highly manipulated by him. He is a compulsive liar. He wears a mask in front of her, and most everyone else. I know he lied constantly to her, and he did to me, too. I despise him, and would be lying if I said differently.

It’s been a deep longing for me to see him humiliated in the same manner I was over our affair. I assume he minimized his involvement with me, in order to keep her from taking everything in a divorce. I feel like he has bought his way out of a costly divorce by spending lots of money on her.

It really sickens me that he shared his dark secrets with me. He always said he wanted to molest me when I was small. He constantly talked about violent s** and r***. He tried to talk me into threesomes with other women…that I know now…he was also cheating on his wife with.

I was never going to do these vulgar things with him. I was so manipulated by him, but I refused to do what he wanted. I can only imagine how horribly manipulated his wife is by him. It’s disturbing.

He acts like a pillar of the community in public. Inwardly, he’s a narcissistic monster, who saved his own a** by throwing me under the bus.

I’m glad he’s out of my life. I wish I had never met him. He’s a horrible person, who is so fake, it’s unreal. I just wish his wife knew what he told me that he did with her own daughter. He loved telling me about the weekend alone they spent together at her first apartment. He went into graphic detail about their s***** interactions. He loved and relished every second of it, and probably jacked off when he told me.

He is a sick person. I lost all respect for him after he said that nasty sick s***. I felt awful for his wife. It made me defensive when she confronted me about the affair. Not because I didn’t deserve her lashing out at me, but her lack of anger at her husband. He pursued me, wouldn’t let the affair die.

He’s reached out to me several times this year, but I didn’t reply. I just deleted his messages. I don’t need an apology from him. He is a liar, and I’m certain that his apology is not genuine.

He should tell his wife the real truth about his other side. The one he tries so hard to mask by going to church, being involved with the community, and keeping up appearances. He should tell her that he was intimate with her daughter. That would be all I’d ask.

It angers me that people think he’s a good person. Hes a sick twisted person. He used me to fulfill his violent s** fantasies that his wife refused to do with him. He told me he loved me. It was all b*******. It makes me hate myself for ever doing what I did. I am so sorry for how I wronged my husband and the ex partner’s wife. I hope she wakes the hell up. She has no clue what she’s married to. He’s horrible.

New Confession

Michael Power-St. Joseph High School
105 Eringate DriveEtobicoke,
ON M9C 3Z7
From: Carmen Portugal, Grade 13 Student

September 25, 1996

Regarding: Deceptive Conduct, Breach of Confidentiality, and Harassment by School Chaplain

Dear Principal Fenwick,I am writing this letter to formally report a deeply distressing incident involving the school chaplain, Sister Marie Howorth, and my guidance counselor. This situation was handled with complete deception, violated my privacy, and has caused me such severe psychological harm that I no longer feel safe at school. Recently, I published a poem in the school newspaper honoring Jane, a former student who passed away suddenly of an illness in the 1980s. I wrote this piece out of genuine admiration for her memory and a desire to celebrate a bright light in our school’s history. On September 25, 1995, Sister Marie Howorth had me summoned directly out of my classroom for an unsolicited meeting. When I asked her what the meeting was about, she dismissed my question, saying, “Oh, just something.” In light of what followed, this response was a deliberate deception. I was misled into her office under false pretenses. As soon as the meeting began, Sister Marie Howorth immediately attacked my character, telling me, “You know you wear a mask.” She did not explain to me what she meant by this statement, leaving me to feel judged, confused, and defensive before she even explained why I was there. This unprovoked, highly damaging psychological label had an immediate negative impact on me.She then proceeded to ambush me with my private family history. She did not tell me how she knew this information until I asked, at which point she revealed it was my guidance counselor who told her. Sister Marie Howorth looked at me and asked directly: “Carmen, you wrote in your poem that Jane’s death was sudden. Now Carmen, your father died, was that sudden?”This question was unconscionably cruel and a profound violation of my emotional safety. f To hear those words from a school chaplain—someone representing spiritual care and the authority of God—felt like a clinical cross-examination and a predatory ambush. It was a complete violation of my boundaries to have my private childhood history dragged into the light without my permission, stripped of context, and used against me like an interrogation tactic.The question was cruel because it reduced my genuine artistic inspiration and admiration for Jane into a cheap, traumatic stereotype. By forcing a jarring, completely false comparison between Jane’s tragic death and my own past, Sister Marie Howorth attempted to rewrite my reality. She completely invalidated my real intentions, treating my talent not as a gift, but as a symptom of damage. She used my father’s history as a weapon to dissect my mind, rather than treating me with basic human decency.When I tried to explain my poem, Sister Marie Howorth refused to listen. At one point, I got so upset by her aggressive tone that I told her I was sorry I ever wrote the poem. Sister Marie Howorth saw my acute distress, yet she completely ignored my pain and continued to ask me prodding questions in regard to why I noticed Jane, saying, “What made you notice Jane? There must have been something that made you notice her.”There was absolutely no excuse for Sister Marie Howorth to treat me this way. If she had a concern with me, or if someone else on staff did, this was entirely the wrong way to address it. Here is why:She chose deception over transparency: If a chaplain is genuinely concerned about a student’s emotional well-being, they approach them with honesty. Sneaking me out of class under false pretenses and hiding how she obtained my private records destroyed any possibility of pastoral trust. She substituted counseling with an interrogation: True care requires listening. Instead of asking me how I was doing, she came to the meeting with a preconceived verdict. She tried to force my life into her own narrative, completely ignoring my actual thoughts and experiences. She weaponized a student’s distress: When a student becomes so visibly upset that they regret their own creative work, a responsible educator stops. Continuing to probe and press a student who is in acute distress is not guidance; it is psychological harassment.This interaction has caused me severe harm in the following ways:Severe Loss of Safety: I am writing to tell you directly that as a result of this incident, I do not feel safe at school. I now feel constantly watched, evaluated based on gossip, and unsafe walking the hallways.Deception and Emotional Distress: Being summoned out of class under a lie, immediately told I “wear a mask” without explanation, and then interrogated while visibly upset was a traumatic experience. Sister Marie Howorth chose to press into my boundaries rather than offer pastoral care.

Breach of Confidentiality: My guidance counselor had no ethical right to share my personal family file with the chaplain, and Sister Marie Howorth had no right to weaponize that information to ambush me

Censorship of My Voice: Because of this invasive behavior, I feel I must completely stop contributing to the school newspaper or expressing myself creatively just to protect myself from the staff.

Sister Marie Howorth’s approach was an interrogation that violated my rights as an 18-year-old student. I request an immediate formal meeting with you to address this breach of safety, hold the counselor accountable for sharing my file, and ensure Sister Marie Howorth is instructed to never approach me again.

Sincerely, Carmen Portugal Grade 13

Related Confessions