• 1 week ago
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I’m married, and had an affair with a married man. He was 20 years older than me. His wife caught him and I confessed to my husband. Afterwards, the affair ended.

I deeply regret what I did, because it’s not something I would normally do. I’ve been married over 20 years, but never had an affair. Throughout the affair, my ex partner constantly talked about his previous sex partners and ex girlfriends. It made me very uncomfortable. Especially, when I would catch him in a lie, but I’d act like I had not.

He was talking to other women the entire time he was in the affair with me. I would try to convince myself that he wasn’t that low of a person, but he was.

He eventually told me 2 weeks before the affair ended, that he’d cheated on his wife with her own daughter. That totally disgusted me. I lost everything I had ever felt for him immediately after he said that.

I really felt so sorry for his wife. I hate myself for what went on between me and her husband. It really hurt my husband terribly, and we’ve struggled with the damage I caused by having an affair.

His wife is highly manipulated by him. He is a compulsive liar. He wears a mask in front of her, and most everyone else. I know he lied constantly to her, and he did to me, too. I despise him, and would be lying if I said differently.

It’s been a deep longing for me to see him humiliated in the same manner I was over our affair. I assume he minimized his involvement with me, in order to keep her from taking everything in a divorce. I feel like he has bought his way out of a costly divorce by spending lots of money on her.

It really sickens me that he shared his dark secrets with me. He always said he wanted to molest me when I was small. He constantly talked about violent sex and rape. He tried to talk me into threesomes with other women…that I know now…he was also cheating on his wife with.

I was never going to do these vulgar things with him. I was so manipulated by him, but I refused to do what he wanted. I can only imagine how horribly manipulated his wife is by him. It’s disturbing.

He acts like a pillar of the community in public. Inwardly, he’s a narcissistic monster, who saved his own ass by throwing me under the bus.

I’m glad he’s out of my life. I wish I had never met him. He’s a horrible person, who is so fake, it’s unreal. I just wish his wife knew what he told me that he did with her own daughter. He loved telling me about the weekend alone they spent together at her first apartment. He went into graphic detail about their sexual interactions. He loved and relished every second of it, and probably jacked off when he told me.

He is a sick person. I lost all respect for him after he said that nasty sick shit. I felt awful for his wife. It made me defensive when she confronted me about the affair. Not because I didn’t deserve her lashing out at me, but her lack of anger at her husband. He pursued me, wouldn’t let the affair die.

He’s reached out to me several times this year, but I didn’t reply. I just deleted his messages. I don’t need an apology from him. He is a liar, and I’m certain that his apology is not genuine.

He should tell his wife the real truth about his other side. The one he tries so hard to mask by going to church, being involved with the community, and keeping up appearances. He should tell her that he was intimate with her daughter. That would be all I’d ask.

It angers me that people think he’s a good person. Hes a sick twisted person. He used me to fulfill his violent sex fantasies that his wife refused to do with him. He told me he loved me. It was all bullshit. It makes me hate myself for ever doing what I did. I am so sorry for how I wronged my husband and the ex partner’s wife. I hope she wakes the hell up. She has no clue what she’s married to. He’s horrible.