i want to be with you but i cant commit. you deserve to love someone better who is wholly devoted to you and the relationship. i cherish your love but at the same time i wish i was out there f****** other girls. i cant have my cake and eat it too. maybe some time away from each other, once ive slept with other women and lived the single life, will make me realise that what we have is actually precious and worth keeping. it could be im taking you for granted but it could be that the single life is the best option. i cant get married, have kids, grow old and die here. i want to be out making my mark on this pointless existence while i can, and i dont believe staying in one city and having a family is the way to make that mark. i remember when i was younger, not having any of this fear, feeling like the world was at my feet, when life consisted of the next party, the next hook-up, the next good time. i wish i could go back to those days. i would give anything to go back to those days; i would even choose them over you. you are a precious gem but not one that im worthy of keeping, our mindsets and life goals are too different. i dont know whether i should have left you sitting at that table or just done what i did and approached you. maybe our lives wouldve been better without having met each other.