14 years
x
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i have been raped. by a family member. it was horrible. just horrible… i didnt feel a thing… i didnt feel my own body, i couldnt react, i was just staring blankly on the wall… how do you feel when the first time a guy touchs you, when you are barely 14, you just feel disgusted of your own body… i dont even remember a thing.. my body was there, not moving while he was doing.. what he had to do… and my mind was above the room, watching everything, shouting silently, urging me to react… i didnt.. i had no body anymore to react with..
worst part of it? i didnt like it, of course i didnt, i hated it… but i dont know why, when he left the room, i needed it.. not him.. surely not him.. but s**… and i started m***********… maybe i just had to be sure i could still feel a thing.. i dont know.. but i masturbated..
and now the only way i really feel something in bed is when a guy is kind of violent with me…
i just feel sick and disgusting…

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I was in a Target store and stole some bra and p****** to wear at home while having me time. I got caught by security and taken to the security office. I am 15 year old teenage boy. I was told to strip in front of the security guy and he found the items I was stealing from the store.

He asked me why I took those items and did not pay, he said he would need to document the case and took pics of me with no clothes on and holding the items. He told me to put the items on in front of him. I cried and begged him to let me go. He yelled at me to shut up and do as I was told or he would call the police.

I got dressed in the bra and p****** and he took more pics of me wearing them. I still begged and cried and said I was sorry, please let me go as I stood there in the lingerie. He said maybe we can work it out this time and locked the office door. He said if I would take care of him, he would consider to let me go. I said yes please, and asked him what I needed to do.

He got undressed and told me I needed to be a good girl and take care of THIS and pointed to his thing. It was big and hard. He yelled at me and said right now! Now get on your knees and start s#cking it. I cried again and told him I was not gay (as I stood there in ladies underwear) he said you are dressed like a girl, now do it, or I will call the Police and I can go to jail.

I got on my knees, and put it in my mouth. I did not want to get in trouble or arrested. So I did what he asked. He was big and forced it deep in my mouth I was gagging on it. That’s a good girl he said, keep doing that until I tell you you can stop. After a few minutes he told me to get up and bend over the desk. He put his thing inside of me and forced it inside. It hurt so bad and he was grunting and thrusting in and out. I felt like I was being torn open.

He did this for a few minutes and then pulled out and forced me back on my knees and put it back in my mouth. I was c#mming in my mouth, and he told me I better swallow all of it. It tasted bad and I swallowed it. When he was done he got dressed and told me to get dressed as well. You passed the test, now you are free to go he said. I have pics of you, and if you tell anyone, I will post the pics online for everyone to see. Never come back to this store again… and he let me go.

Now I am gay, because I let another Man use me for S#X and do those things to me.