I can’t stop thinking about the p*** video my professor watched on our shared computer at the university. O***, lesbian s**, everybody on everybody… It’s so h*******, and yet he’s a strict and authoritative man, just like my father (who’s also a university professor, pretty strict old man). My teacher’s married and has a daughter. And yet he still masturbates, just like all of us, including myself. My parents deny my s********, but isn’t it true that all of us are s***** beings? My mother calls me names and ridicules me because se knows I’m having s**. My father knows that too and he’s afraid that I’ll become a s***. We even had a talk because he’s concerned about me. I cried because it’s such a deep and intimate part of me, I couldn’t believe I was discussing m*********** with my own dad. He told me not to do it too often. It was so awkward, and I’m a 23 yo girl. My water supply guy fucked me in the woods the other day. I didn’t want him to use protection. I made him c** on my a** and p****, and then I pushed my finger inside so I could feel his sperm entering my v*****. Now I think I’m pregnant, even though I took a morning-after pill – however he often rubs my c******* with his p**** and puts it inside me without a condom. So I drank the pill. I cried and jerked off afterwards. I want to see my partner f****** other women (I told him so), I want him to f*** me while I’m carrying his child in my womb, I want to watch other people having s**. I know I should make a clear difference between fantasy and real life. I’m torn.

Maya