I have been stuck in this cycle of misusing my medication despite not making me feel like crap and giving me anxiety. It started a few months ago, on and off. Then I found out my love in boyfriend cheated on me. Like, a lot…so many lies and it just cut me to the bone. I left and have been struggling with this harmful behavior since. I have a few good days then I am right back where I started. I just want my life back. I was in such a good place when we met. Now I am a shell of myself. Emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally exhausted and just self destructive, but I don’t really want to be. I just want to be ok again. I need to stop and I need to fully let go. I just want to wake up and feel better. I can’t keep going this way. So this is my confession. Just to get it out of me…thank you for bearing witness.