I once was a babysitter to a man that would repeatedly r*** his wife. He was horrifying. He was arrested for being a s***** predator. His wife knew he was dangerous. She still didn’t care. It would be rarely she would be the one to drive me home at 3 am. It was always him. Drunk . I hated him. I used to sit hunched in the car, with my little Kmart purse on my lap. Terrified of him. I was between the ages of 14-17 when this would happen. My mother and her were best friends during those years. I never told my mom. I kept my mouth shut.

Now the guilt….

One tine I made a promise to the little girl (his youngest). She was ashamed her room was a mess. Crayons and feces were on the wall. I swore to her, I’d come back with comet to help clean the room. There was filth all around the house. I should have called CPS but didn’t. I myself was a kid. (I was 14) I could only do a tiny bit of cleaning. (I tried to help but it wasn’t possible). I am so ashamed i never called CPS. Or told my parents. I was soooo dumb to keep that little girls secret. She begged me not to tell. so i didn’t. I just wanted to protect the kids. I thought if i kept the secret. Things would be safer for them.

I sure hope God has forgiven me. I am soooo sorry i didn’t call the police. I should have.