i think im a burden on others, no one truely “likes” me. I have friends i’ve known for years and years, yet it’s still awkward. I’m always the one initiating conversation, i’m the one asking to make plans, i’m the one checking up, i think if i just stopped talking everyone would forget i exist. I make space for myself when no one really invited me. It’s confusing, i can vent about this to those friends and they reassure me, but i think i’d just rather they tell the truth. I know they love me, but it’s an obligation, they might love me from all the years spent together, but i know they dont really like me as a person. And it’s so selfish of me, i could set them all free but i have no one else, i dont think i could take it, so im just stuck in this endless loop of feeling like not enough but too scared do anything. I want things to be like when i was a child.