• 2 months ago

So I was dating someone that I thought I really loved and I also thought really loved me. I can’t describe the depth of the connection, it was strong. It felt like a twin flame (if you know what that is). Much to my surprise I got dumped. Things dragged out for a bit after the break up because this person (we’ll call them X) eluded to wanting to get some things in order and be able to come back and treat me like I deserved. X had a lot of things going on and wasn’t that good at prioritizing. I understood his challenges and I also totally understood the need for space to figure some shit out plus not to mention covid, and kids and well life has had its challenges this year so I got it. Well we reached a point where I had to leave it altogether, it was too hard to stay in half assed contact and I felt I was sacrificing my needs. It was left on good terms I sent a text saying I couldn’t do it anymore but if X wanted to be in it with me at some point X knew where to find me. I left X with my love and asked X not to reply but just to live the best life X could. We were still connected on social media…within days of my text X posted about being out with some friends of the opposite sex (which is normal but in this case seemed like a bit of slap in the face due to how X knew this sort of thing affected me). Within 2 weeks X posted about falling in love with someone else, which one of the someone else’s was one of the members of his outing 2 weeks prior. It’s been 3.5 mths and I just couldn’t believe X would be with anyone else. I know X didn’t technically do anything wrong as X is completely entitled to be with whoever X wants especially since X ended our relationship. I was just so devastated and completely shocked, like I’ve never been so shocked in all my life. The few things X posted on social made that made it look like there was a new person was like a rollercoaster for me. I would get really upset and then come back to reality and go “but I know and trust X, this just can’t be right”. Every time in our relationship that I thought something X had done was a certain way when I’d ask X about it or we’d talk I would always end up thinking that I had just made some poor assumptions because everything X would explain made perfect sense and X would never get upset with me. X was always very patient and totally always understood where I was coming from so I just couldn’t believe X would go off with someone else. Plus the person X was supposedly going after was just so far from the type of person that X would ever go for. There were just so many questions up in the air that I hung on to the connection truly believing X would be back since that is also something X said they wanted. THIS IS WHERE THE CONFESSION COMES IN…I couldn’t take it anymore I just needed to know once and for all if X was in fact with someone else so I created a fake social media profile and friend requested the person I suspected X was with now and also send a request to him. X’s new person (we’ll call them Y) accepted my request so I messaged Y and said that I thought I knew her partner. I wasn’t out to hurt anybody or do anything malicious I really just wanted to confirm that they were indeed a thing because like I said it was just so beyond belief to me. Y confirmed it. I said I was just returning to town after having lived away for awhile and trying to make some new connections with cool people. I said that I knew X a long time ago but that X probably didn’t remember me. Y must have spoken to X about this since I got a message later where Y tried to change her story and say they weren’t together. X also messaged me too trying to get some details around how X and I would’ve known each other. I never meant for it to get this far. I’m assuming that X thinks its me and I didn’t want that. I really just desperately needed some peace of mind in this situation and felt like if I knew for sure, yes it would hurt like all hell, but at least I’d know and I could finally move on. That’s all I wanted. I feel really bad for being devious but I didn’t know how else to let this go as long as it was still unclear if they were really a thing.