• 6 months ago

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 17 months. I love him with all of my heart. But in the beginning of our relationship I lied to him about something. I called him one night and told him I had been raped. I never was. And I don’t completely understand why I said that. Or let him believe it. I have recently been realizing a lot. And I’m trying to forgive myself for that mistake and trying to be a better person. But I love my boyfriend so much, but in order for me to move on, and forgive myself. I think I need to let him go, end tell him. So in the end I know I am going to lose him, and it may be for the better for us both. But we are deeply in love, and this will break us both. I have been hating myself more and more lately for my past decisions. And I’m ready to let them go and realize that in the end I messed up, but I want to be a better person. And I know I can. But I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive myself for the pain I caused him at that time.