I have been clean for 4 years. I cut myself today for the first time in four years. I’m terrified my parents will find out. The last time they found out, the hit me and threw me out of the house for hours together. They’ve been using the self harm issue to invade my privacy, constantly monitor me and emotionally blackmail me to the point where all I can think of is my desperate desire to die. I’m afraid, terrified and I hate myself for relapsing again.