My secret and my shame really is that I'm deeply ashamed of having looking for a job continuously for 8 years and *still* finding nothing and be

6 years

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My secret and my shame really is that I’m deeply ashamed of having looking for a job continuously for 8 years and *still* finding nothing and be unemployed. I’m ashamed of the fact that even though I’m an engineer by title, and by training, I’m *terrible* at math and calculations and this is why no one will hire me. I’m ashamed to admit that behind all the fancy titles and things that I’ve ‘claimed’ to have done, most of them are really not my accomplishments!!! I don’t feel deserving of anything that I’ve earned and done in this life so far.

I’m ashamed that I’m so bad at job hunting and I am still bad at it. The true reason why I can’t find something is because deep down they know that I know that I’m a fraud and that’s why they don’t want to hire me. I feel like deep down, I’m just unworthy and that’s why I’m stuck. I’m scared that I’m so bad at job hunting that my husband will no longer love me and all my friends will leave me after they find out how stupid and useless I really am.

Sometimes I feel like I haven’t tried as hard as I can because that way I can still pat myself on the back and say it’s OK, that’s why it didn’t work out. When really I have tried and it’s not working out.

New Confession

It’s good having friends to hang with at any age but what I disagree with is making it a lifestyle to be around your friends all the time. You go on fun trips and/or expensive cruises and fine dine so much that you ignore the people in your life that doesn’t have the money to go on those trips with you,you speak to them and have less to do with them the more you give your time and money to your money hungry luxurious rich wanna bes. Don’t turn your back on anyone below you on your income level. Especially your family that’s willing to cross the street to visit and you don’t and all you really care about is driving across the map to please people that really don’t give 2 cents about you for who you are. Also,if you are spoiled and your kids are grown ups they are not going to have a thing to do with you because you expect them to cater to your every need and get upset about it. Expecting them to help out when needed is normal and ok but it’s childish and weird to expect them to do what you want them to all the time and get upset when they don’t. If you are one of those people, with all do respect I suggest you get professional help.

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