6 years
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I have been a hard drinker for the last 5 to 6 years, been to the hospital an rehabs a bunch of times had two years clean during that time an then relapsed, I came clean about that an kinda went back an forth for a while, a week or two without an then a month with for almost a year. Finally hit a point a month ago where I almost died again. Decided to go back to NA and do it how I did it before because I know I am an addict. I made it two weeks then started using other stuff, I been doing that for the last 15 days, everyone has no idea because it’s not my normal MO, I’m going to a meeting tomorrow to pick up my 30 days, I haven’t drank but I haven’t been clean what so ever. I don’t know why I am doing this all, I feel comfortable in the pain, other days I realize how much of a lie all of this is. I have actually been happy but I know there isn’t a good end to this, I am sure I will tell my support system sometime soon but who knows when or what will happen that gives me that kick to do so. At least now I can work and do my daily stuff, With alcohol I would just get sick an isolate or say f*** it to everything, now I rationalize my using with the comparison of how I once was, instead of just staying clean, definitely a liar if I pick up my 30 day tomorrow, but I know I am going to, I feel like I need it to help me with staying away from alcohol, I’m sure the current stuff will end up leading me back though, don’t know why I think about using all day each day but I know my path will show itself, just gotta try an be better.

New Confession

My wife and I are small in stature, I’m 5’4″ and she is 4’10” weighs 78 lb . When she was going to have our second child the doctor sent us to King Edward Memorial Hospital in Perth because our baby in her 8th month had wrapped the umbilical cord around her neck. We met an interesting huge black man who was in Neonatal care in the US there who invited us to dinner at the Hostel he stayed at. He rubbed my wife’s tummy while talking after we ate, after while she sat on his lap. It turned me on to seeing her so small and pregnant so close to his enormous c0ck. While we stayed close to the hospital we visited him a few times per week. Each time feeling her tummy while she sat on his lap his hand drifted closer to her gnitals and b00bs. We went to his room when she was 9 months and three days, he said when she was that close to delivering she could take even his c0ck easily. I said “Baby you used to tell me you would like to know what a big c0ck was like, he is offering you that chance.” she said “What if you aren’t enough after I do it?” . I just said something like we’ll figure it out I want to see you at you’re best. It didn’t take more the 5 minutes after the conversation he had licked her pu55y and started stuffing 10″ of c0ck the size of a redbull can inside her. She couldn’t take the whole thing till she 0rgasmed 3 minutes into s** that lasted25 minutes the first time. While his 1oad was running out of her and he was sucking her nipple5 I encouraged her to take advantage of the situation and do it again. They let me record the next time on my iPhone , 34 minutes, we had a*** s** right after. I didn’t know they had s** while I slept till the next morning when I awoke and she was sleeping with him. When Our daughter was born three days later she said they had s** 11 times and she wanted to do it again before we went home. I agreed to more of their alone time. When Our daughter was two, my wife asked me for permission to be bred by him. I said if I can but a whole redbull can inside you then okay. She couldn’t take more than 1/2 when we started but she could when he bred her 4 months later, we have a 3 year old b******** son, my wife already s**** him off.

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