Last year I befriended a guy I met in a hospital. This was new for me but I needed help and barely felt alive. He was from the same city as I and I found him refreshing. He was weird but the boring ones are the scary ones.

After we were both were out of the hospital, within a week I got a letter in the mail. It was from him. We are both from the same city and he saw me near my house. I texted him my phone number. I figured he was safe being he was a good guy and I liked him,

He is even more unstable than I am and I am no saint but I have had past issues abusing and selling drugs and he has various disorders as well. I triggered him by trying to manipulate him and thought he would go away.

I am not proud of this and I know very well he isn’t proud of his part either, We just simply did not mesh which was both his words and I. The thing is we have a lot in common but he’s more open about his problems and I’m embarrassed of mine. That didn’t seem to matter to him and it horrified me that he wasn’t as judgmental as others. I am used to bad people into something when I was the whole time with him. He knew it but let it go. Why!???

In the end, I used and insulted him often and he knew it but helped me over and over and tried to be my friend while I pretended to attempt to be his. Many see him as crazy now being he fell apart in other ways with other people in this horrible city but we are the crazy ones for taking advantage of good people. Ashamed and disgusted with myself yet also afraid I’ll one day be as open as he was with me. What is wrong with me??