I once thought I was a crossdresser, but took too long to realize that I actually should be a woman. I have a career and family now so it is difficult to permanently make a change, so I dress as much as possible, secretly take hormones and essentially like as a girl with out being out in front of family.
I sneek out and go shopping as my enfemme self. When I travel for work I travel as a girl. I am not attracted to men and their looks. I do like cock though and have found I can work a cock like no one else.
Its not an erotic thing. I feel better being this way. I love to feel sexy. I have natural breasts and wear thing to make them bigger. I look at my cock and balls and wish they were a vagina. I am really good at sex with men and can only imagine if I had the full parts.
I made an appointment to transition but it was cancelled due to pandemic. I wonder if my timing is keeping me in my current body even though i am unhappy being a male.