I've been with the same guy for several years even after losing every romantic feeling I have for him. He was totally emotionally disconnected from me

15 years

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I've been with the same guy for several years even after losing every romantic feeling I have for him. He was totally emotionally disconnected from me for a long time; to cope, I eventually disconnected from him in turn. But I stayed with him, simply because I was afraid I wouldn't find anyone better. Said boyfriend is already NOT a good father figure to my daughter from a previous relationship, and everyone I know says that I've been settling on this guy. I guess I feel so badly about myself that I never thought anyone better would have me, you know? Who cares if my boyfriend is fat, lazy, and honestly kinda smells bad? He loves me and that's all that matters, I told myself. He'll stay with me.

Unfortunately, I've now met & become very good friends with someone about a million better, and he is definitely at least sort of interested in me. This is a guy with a real decent-paying career-related job, no grime under his fingernails, close ties to his family, and similar interests to me. It's opened my eyes to the fact that, yes, there ARE better men out there, and I'm questioning what I've been doing for the last 3 years staying with this guy who I haven't had romantic feelings for in a long time.

My new guy friend and I flirt ALOT. We can talk for hours on end about nothing. We don't agree on everything, but we agree on everything big & important. I think he's adorable and he thinks I'm beautiful. But we both watch our boundaries because he knows I'm not single.

My boyfriend and I never had this kind of connection. But he's been around since my daughter was 6 months old. She even calls him "daddy" so I have no idea what to do.

New Confession

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me. It f’ucking should do though.

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Last year I befriended a guy I met in a hospital. This was new for me but I needed help and barely felt alive. He was from the same city as I and I found him refreshing. He was weird but the boring ones are the scary ones.

After we were both were out of the hospital, within a week I got a letter in the mail. It was from him. We are both from the same city and he saw me near my house. I texted him my phone number. I figured he was safe being he was a good guy and I liked him,

He is even more unstable than I am and I am no saint but I have had past issues abusing and selling drugs and he has various disorders as well. I triggered him by trying to manipulate him and thought he would go away.

I am not proud of this and I know very well he isn’t proud of his part either, We just simply did not mesh which was both his words and I. The thing is we have a lot in common but he’s more open about his problems and I’m embarrassed of mine. That didn’t seem to matter to him and it horrified me that he wasn’t as judgmental as others. I am used to bad people into something when I was the whole time with him. He knew it but let it go. Why!???

In the end, I used and insulted him often and he knew it but helped me over and over and tried to be my friend while I pretended to attempt to be his. Many see him as crazy now being he fell apart in other ways with other people in this horrible city but we are the crazy ones for taking advantage of good people. Ashamed and disgusted with myself yet also afraid I’ll one day be as open as he was with me. What is wrong with me??