i hurt a lot of people last year. i never really meant to, i just needed space so because i couldnt emotionally handle a lot of stuff because of outside

6 years

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i hurt a lot of people last year. i never really meant to, i just needed space so because i couldnt emotionally handle a lot of stuff because of outside sources. it was only when i looked past those that i thought were the real ones that I was truly the one in the wrong. i hurt a bunch of people and i now know that many people, especially parents hate me too. it hurts a lot more than i want it to, i reconciled with some of their kids but a bunch still do hate me. i really don’t believe i deserve any love or care at all and that i’m a completely despicable person who should just be thrown away.

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Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.