As an adult I find that I have accumulated guilt over numerous small things I have done and said that I should have, and not done said that I should have.

6 years

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As an adult I find that I have accumulated guilt over numerous small things I have done and said that I should have, and not done said that I should have. The feeling of guilt is a weight and I have no way to lift it. When I was growing up I was punished for such things. I always felt forgiven afterwards, I had a clean slate. It sounds strange but I miss that punishment and the sense of forgiveness and atonement it gave me. I know it’s weird but an occasional god old fashioned spanking would make me feel better. I’m afraid to admit that to anyone and almost afraid that if I did and someone agreed to punish me I wouldn’t go through with it and I’d feel even more guilt from that. What to do?

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I didn’t mean to hammer that nail into your head

Bob The Builder

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Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.