As an adult I find that I have accumulated guilt over numerous small things I have done and said that I should have, and not done said that I should have. The feeling of guilt is a weight and I have no way to lift it. When I was growing up I was punished for such things. I always felt forgiven afterwards, I had a clean slate. It sounds strange but I miss that punishment and the sense of forgiveness and atonement it gave me. I know it’s weird but an occasional god old fashioned spanking would make me feel better. I’m afraid to admit that to anyone and almost afraid that if I did and someone agreed to punish me I wouldn’t go through with it and I’d feel even more guilt from that. What to do?
