I wish I had an abortion. I really resent my kid. I often fantasize about packing my bags and disappearing. I should never have become a mother. I have no patience or empathy left in me because I had this child. They drain every ounce of joy and colour out of my world. Being a parent is literally the worst thing in the world for me. If I didn’t have a kid, I would have financial stability, friends, a relationship, and an education. I have none of those things because of this kid. I really hate that I feel this way but it is what it is. I wish I had just aborted the pregnancy and gone on with my life.
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I understand where you coming from. From having this child you think you lost it all. But tonight look at its beautiful tiny face. How small he/she is. That child can give you the most unconditional love you can ever feel. You just have to give it a chance. Hearing it’s laugh, seeing it smile. Maybe you will never love that child. But someone will, so if you keep feeling like you want to leave. Let someone adopt him/her. Everyone deserves a family, especially a kid who has no fault in anything. And those “relationships” or “friends” who lost, if they wanted too they would be there for you but they aren’t. Because they were not meant too in the first place. That child would and will stand with you no matter what. You choice. Lose the best thing that has happen to you, or let the best thing stay with you and change your life for the best.
This is what forced pregnancy does and very rightfully it makes you hateful of everything. Having a kid should NEVER be forced. Otherwise I promise if you ever had a kid when you felt ready you would have been a great mother. I’m sorry for you to be forced to have kids. Also the other person is right. You should never have to abandon your friends! If anything you need your friends more if you have a family now! Some of your case seems only like excuses. It’s not too late though. If the kid is giving you hard times explain for them how you felt and how you were forced to have the kid against your will. And start gathering your firends, jobs, hobbies, money back into your life.