When I was a senior in college in 2001 I was stupid and not using a condom and I accidentally got a 16 year old high school girl pregnant- we stayed together for a while and raised our daughter but then

In 2006 I was fooling around having an affair with a 40 year old woman who was in a sexless marriage. She wasn’t on birth control because she thought she couldn’t get pregnant- well she got pregnant

It wrecked my relationship with my first daughters mother and she moved back to Texas and wants nothing to do with me

The woman I got pregnant never left her husband – he just stayed married to her even though he knew the baby wasn’t his – they raise my second daughter as their own and she’s never met me

Then in 2015 when I was 35 I ended up getting this girl who worked at our office pregnant after she got drunk at our office Christmas party and I took her home with me… she only worked part time and was a freshman in college – but she wouldn’t consider an abortion – and she couldn’t stay in her dorm so she moved in with me and we live together and raise our daughter – my third – and we are pretty happy overall.

She wants another baby and I’m open to the idea….

I just feel really damn guilty about the two daughters I literally never see

My oldest is going to be 18 soon

I haven’t seen her since she was 5

And I feel like a terrible person this time of year because of it