I’m a girl. I have a girlfriend. And I think I could fall for her. My grandma is extremely homophobic. I think I might be a lesbian, but I have a crush on a boy, I think ? I go as bisexual, she’s bisexual. I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks/months. We’ve been dating for two days. Before I asked her, I was on the verge of falling in love with this boy. Who I still kind of like. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. We don’t talk that much. I’m 13, she’s 12, he’s 14. He isn’t ready for a relationship, me and her are dating, he doesn’t know about her and he doesn’t know who she is nor that I’m dating anyone. She doesn’t want anyone to know we’re dating. I want to kill myself. I don’t know why. I don’t have any reason, I’m just sad. I’m always sad. I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely happy. I use my humor as a way to hind my tears. My life wasn’t hard. Apart from my medical conditions, my parents being divorced, my dad remarrying to someone 14 years younger than him on Saturday. 9/28. I’m the junior bridesmaid. I will have no friends at this wedding, I’m not allowed to bring anyone. I’m just sad. No particular reason. Just. Sad. Which is almost worse than actually having a reason because then you could try and fix that reason, but if you have no reason, you’re just stuck, in this pit. Only smiling when uncomfortable, around a crush, or even just a funny joke. Then, you get home, you’re all alone because mom works late, and you just ponder your life and wonder what you should’ve done differently. Then I start to wonder; Will I actually be missed? I mean, what have you done in your life? Nothing. Have you touched anyone’s hearts so much that they will never forget you? No. Besides your imidate family, you know no one. You have no friends. Maybe 10 at most. How many of them do you actually see? 3. Yeah, nice. I don’t maybe I really am a crybaby? Maybe I should kill myself as they said? Maybe I do look like I’m an emotional wreck? Whatever it is. You’re not perfect. You’re not you. Maybe you did change.