I want to cut myself again, after over a year of recovery. I feel like relapsing, but I made a promise to my father that I wouldn’t, and I am fighting the urge to break that promise. To my surprise, I am disgusted by blood, cutting my skin, hitting a vein/artery, but I still managed to do it a year ago. I can faint at the sight of blood, yet I still want to inflict pain upon my skin. I think about cutting myself all the time, and cannot get the sight out of my head. I get a headache thinking about cutting, yet I cannot think about anything else or focus on anything!
