I am a 27 year old man. I have a girlfriend who is 36. I have consistently stated that she makes me happy and that I am content with her. However, we have been together for 3, almost 3 and a half years. Never have we stated that we love each other. Never have we kissed. I realize now that I don’t really have romantic feelings for her. We’re essentially just good/best friends, roommates, and friends with benefits.
Completely related, my sister(now 30) got a girlfriend(now 25) about a year ago. They got me my job and my sister’s girlfriend is now my boss. I’ve been working with her for roughly six months now.
The point is, I am deeply in love with my sister’s girlfriend, who is also my boss at work. I’ve considered the “forbidden fruit” concept and it doesn’t feel the same as when I’ve experienced it in the past.
I hate that it’s like this. Nobody knows about how I feel. I have no friends that I can trust enough to dislose this to. I also can’t afford to see a professional. So, here I am.
I fully plan on carrying these feelings in solitude until the day I pass, hopefully with none the wiser.
Wish me luck. Have a great weekend.