this is some white guilt weirdness, and also some gay shit. so im a gay white male, but i have some small attraction to women (i also dont totally buy into the gender binary, which is probably related). but, for personal reasons i prefer to ID as gay and limit myself to having sexual relationships with men.
the other thing, the thing im guilty about, is that im mostoy not attracted to white women at all. my “exceptions” to being gay are almost always women of colour, and i cant tell if thats just pure chance or if im being racially motivated or even like racially fetishizing people.
and like part of why im thinking about this is that my bf is black and also fairly fem, it’s looking like he might even start going down a more nonbinary route, and im totally into it. but im worried, what if im into it for the wrong reasons?
usually we can talk things through when they come up, no matter how bad they might initially make us look (we’ve worked through cheating, mental health crises, LDR shit, etc.), but im worried that talking to him honestly about this stuff will just out me as some horrible racist. idk. im glad i got this off my chest