I’m in a relationship with a great guy but I already know it has no future. I’m only 22, I don’t want to settle down yet (and I’m not just talking about sleeping around, I’m talking about traveling, perhaps moving countries, trying myself in different types of jobs, experiencing as much of the world as possible, exploring my bisexuality, etc.), but he’s ready to settle down with me since he’s quite a few years older than me. I’m terrified he’s gonna propose soon and I’ll have to say no to someone I care a lot about and someone who seems head over heels in love with me. Meanwhile, I’m falling in love with one of my female friends. Nothing happened between us (besides jokingly flirting sometimes) and she’s straight anyway, so I would never have a chance with her, but I can’t help but daydream constantly about how maybe, just maybe if I was single, she would kiss me or we could even fool around a bit when we’re both tipsy (I think it’s possible she’d be down for it). I feel so torn, so guilty, indecisive, and s*****. I can’t break up with my boyfriend, I can’t fall out of love with my friend, but neither of those things is healthy for my long-term well-being… I feel like a terrible person.
