First off I will like to state that at this moment in my life my mental health had been at a very bad state and I had no intent to improve my life since I was depressed and was just living a s***** life. This is a long confession but it is something that I somehow have to get off my chest since I am extremely regretful and very sorry for doing what I did. It has been hard living with myself recently since this is something I am truly disgusted by and I can’t believe this is something I let myself do. I am nothing like that person I use to be and I truly am ashamed of my past. Anyways lets get to the point. This event had happened around a year and a half ago, junior year in high school. One night a girl friend of mine who had been into me invited me and some buds over to her house for a small party or get together. At her house we had been drinking and smoking weed so mostly everyone was crossfaded, I was slighty. Later into the night as the party slowed down my girl friend and her friend had gone into a room while my buds and I were in the living room. At this point everyone was asleep except me. I suddenly had started to become lack of better words h****. And for whatever disgusting reason I had gone to my girl friends room and started to stare at her from the doorway while I jerked off. I didn’t finish although that doesn’t make this any better at all. Since throughout doing it I realized what the f*** I was doing and stopped. I wasn’t fucked enough in the head to actually do anything to her since I wasn’t at that insane of a low. But yeah thats the story. I don’t know how people will react but this is to intense for me to confess to someone like my therapist since I am very scared what the reaction will be. I have never s******* assualted or have done anything touchy to a girl. But this is the most extreme I had hit. I look back at this moment as the biggest f*** up of my life. It has been hard to live with myself recently because of this past. Especially since then I have gotten my life on track and persued to be the best person I can be. I love my family, and most importantly I love my mother so much I think to myself how the f*** could I have ever treated a women like that. Im sorry.
